You told your partner you’re pregnant, and his response wasn’t what you hoped for. Maybe he said he isn’t ready to be a father. Maybe he wants you to have an abortion. Or perhaps he has stopped answering your calls and left you wondering whether you’ll be navigating the pregnancy without him.

What you do next depends partly on what “not supportive” looks like in your relationship. There’s a difference between a partner who is frightened and unsure and one who is pressuring, threatening, or trying to control you.

Gateway Women’s Care is available if you want to discuss your pregnancy and the circumstances surrounding it. Contact us to schedule a confidential appointment. We’re here to help you feel supported.

Have Another Conversation if It Feels Safe

Your partner’s first response may have come from shock. If you feel safe with him and want to continue the conversation, choose a time when neither of you is in the middle of an argument.

Instead of having another general conversation about the pregnancy, ask what specifically worries him.

If he says you can’t afford a baby, what expenses is he thinking about? If he believes school or work would become impossible, what does he think would have to change? If he says he doesn’t want to be involved, ask what he means by that.

Specific answers can tell you more than another emotional exchange. They can also show you which concerns might be addressed by researching finances, housing, childcare, employment, or other resources.

Pay Attention to Feeling Pressured

A partner can have an opinion about your pregnancy without deciding for you.

Pressure may be obvious, such as threatening to end the relationship unless you choose abortion. It can also involve taking your money, preventing you from getting transportation, repeatedly intimidating you, interfering with medical appointments, or threatening you because you won’t make the decision he wants.

Those behaviors shouldn’t be dismissed as an ordinary disagreement.

If you’re considering parenting, adoption, or abortion, learn about each option for yourself rather than relying solely on what your partner tells you.

Take Threats Seriously

If your partner has threatened you, hurt you, stalked you, or made you afraid for your physical safety, seek help. You are never deserving of abuse or mistreatment of any kind.

If you are in immediate danger, call 911. The National Domestic Violence Hotline is also available 24 hours a day at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). You can text START to 88788.

The Hotline’s advocates can help you create a safety plan, find resources in your area, and more. Seeking help is often the biggest step; people are here to help you throughout the process.

Decide Who Else You Can Call

Your partner doesn’t have to be your only source of help.

Think about the people you know individually. Is there a parent who could help with transportation? A sibling who could go to an appointment with you? A friend you could stay with for a few days? A counselor, pastor, or other trusted person who knows your circumstances?

You may need different people for different things. Asking one person to solve everything can feel impossible, while asking for one specific kind of help may be much easier.

Gateway Women’s Care can also provide information about your pregnancy options as you decide what you want to do.

Schedule a confidential appointment with us today to ask questions and discuss any concerns you have. We’re here for you.

Gateway Women’s Care does not provide or refer for abortions.